I already wanted to do this for a while (having survived two 10-day meditation retreats in the previous years), and with recent events happening in my family, I decided to take the plunge.
Why do a retreat at home?
One reason is simply because it allows me to do it whenever I can, and I don’t have to register for a specific date at a centre.
Another reason is that it allows me to try and see whether I can still get the positive benefits while in the more distracting environment of my own home. This makes it more difficult, sure. But if I manage to complete 10 days, it will give me more confidence to keep a consistent daily practice.
Practical matters
Unless you have somebody taking care of everything for you, you simply cannot expect to meditate for the same amount each day as in a retreat.
I still kept the same schedule as in a meditation centre, but prolonged the duration of each break. Giving me time to prepare breakfast and lunch and do some cleaning.
Overall, I would still spend around 8-9 hours meditating everyday. Which seemed good enough for a first try.
I handed my phone over to my partner and had them change the passcode. They would be able to keep an eye out for urgent messages, but I would not be able to use it during the retreat.
I still used my computer for listening to discourses every evening. But I uninstalled my browser and gaming apps to limit any potential for distraction.
I would not be talking with my partner for the first 9 days, but sometimes there might be urgent things that come up.
For this, we put a small whiteboard on the fridge, which we both could use to communicate practical and urgent matters.
This worked pretty well, but also gives potential for distracting thoughts.
I decided not to go outside for the duration of these 10 days, since it is very difficult to control what you might encounter on your walks outside.
Instead, I would go outside on our balcony every morning to get some fresh air and look at the nature nearby to calm down.
I did not do any exercise during the self-imposed retreat, but I did walk a lot of circles around the dinner table during my breaks. :)
Since I would keep 10 days free from work for doing this meditation, it made sense to me that I would prepare food for myself and my partner during the breaks.
I placed an online order at the grocery store to arrive the day before I would start my 10 days.
Surprisingly, it was not that difficult to survive for 10 days on a full stocked fridge. I was expecting to have more difficulty figuring out what to prepare and to make sure we would have enough to last the week. But this was not a problem at all.
The cooking itself was actually quite meditative too. If you can just focus on the act of preparing the food, it barely seems to impact the quality of my meditation at all.
The Experience
Sitting through the 10 days went much better than expected. The experience was very similar to an actual retreat.
In some ways, it was easier.
There were much less distractions from other students walking around or making sounds. And doing it in the comfort of your own home makes it easier to feel calm and cosy.
In other ways it was more difficult.
I had to hold myself accountable all the way through, I did not have any other people around me joining in meditation, so I had to make sure I could motivate myself to keep to the schedule. Waking up at 4am and completing all the sittings fully.
This went surprisingly ok for me. I have always been a strongly self-motivated person. So I didn’t really feel too much difficulty in motivating myself. Especially once I made the commitment and set the schedule.
Something more difficult for me were distractions by noise. You would not believe the amount of noises present in an apartment block!
I could hear the water running through the sewage pipes in the different apartments around us. I could hear the alarm clocks of all our neighbours being repeatedly snoozed. I could hear the compressors of refrigerators turning on and off from time to time. And so many different conversations of birds and people on the streets below. It definitely took me a few days to get used to this. And as the days progressed, I could start picking up more and more subtle noises.
Something else that could really impact my sittings, was the mood of my partner.
Seeing her behaviour and expressions during my breaks was usually enough to send my mind into some thinking spirals, trying to imagine what could be wrong, or what the thing was that currently piqued their interest.
Obviously, my own imagination was also a significant distracting factor. I was often thinking about what things I would be doing after the 10 days were over. Or about in what way it might improve my mood and capacities. All just distractions that made it harder to keep sitting however. Especially if you suddenly get some good ideas for projects to work on, but are afraid that you will forget them after this is all over.
Results
Overall, I’m quite happy with the experience.
The results and progression throughout the days were very similar to those at an actual retreat.
I think the main benefit I will keep from this experience is the knowledge that I can consistently practice and benefit from meditation from my own volition. It was always difficult to keep practicing daily after I completed my previous retreats. But I feel it will be much easier this time.
If I decide to sit at a certain time each morning, I’m quite confident now that I will also actually do it.
If you are looking to challenge yourself and try this, I can handily recommend it. But I also assume that the experience for others might be quite different that my own.